It’s a lesson I seem to need to keep relearning: that whatever the problem, small or large, it is not so much about how I control the issue but how much I trust in the transformative process.
I wrote those words in my June 22 blog; in rereading them, I am reminded how true they are. I also know they can be hard words to live by. But doing so I am. What helps in this process is the mosaic with which I continue to work. So here is another truth: the creative process—art in whatever form—is not only healing but transformative.
My mosaic is very different from the one conceived back in February. Back then I envisioned a somewhat bland affair, a semi realistic take on nature with a tree—its roots and branches—the sky beyond. Colours were to mirror those found in the forest and I would take comfort in this interpretation of my natural world. But things change. Life changes: colours explode; shapes morph and views tumble and roll. At times I feel like I am racing to keep up with the image that is being birthed and, other times, I feel I need to change what I created yesterday to parallel new ways of being. I am my own Dorian Gray but am no longer willing to sell my soul to bargain with or avoid what life offers.
I do not know where the path leads that I currently walk. Hell, I don’t even know which direction I go. And, funny enough, the same is true with my mosaic. I haven’t glued a piece for a week. I know, however, that the answer will come. That if I keep trusting, keep opening my heart to the beauty around me, I’ll find my way.