It’s a lesson I seem
to need to keep relearning: that whatever the problem, small or large, it is
not so much about how I control the issue but how much I trust in the
transformative process.
I wrote those words in my June 22 blog; in rereading them, I
am reminded how true they are. I also know they can be hard words to live by.
But doing so I am. What helps in this process is the mosaic with which I
continue to work. So here is another truth: the creative process—art in
whatever form—is not only healing but transformative.
My mosaic is very different from the one conceived back in
February. Back then I envisioned a somewhat bland affair, a semi realistic take
on nature with a tree—its roots and branches—the sky beyond. Colours were to
mirror those found in the forest and I would take comfort in this
interpretation of my natural world. But things change. Life changes: colours
explode; shapes morph and views tumble and roll. At times I feel like I am
racing to keep up with the image that is being birthed and, other times, I feel
I need to change what I created yesterday to parallel new ways of being. I am
my own Dorian Gray but am no longer willing to sell my soul to bargain with or avoid what
life offers. 
I do not know where the path leads that I currently walk.
Hell, I don’t even know which direction I go. And, funny enough, the same is
true with my mosaic. I haven’t glued a piece for a week. I know, however, that
the answer will come. That if I keep trusting, keep opening my heart to the
beauty around me, I’ll find my way.
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